The Path to the Future Goes Through the Present...

Be Present

Last week I was out of town for work and bored out of my mind in the hotel room. I decided to take a walk at at like 9pm. As I walked, I started having a conversation with Heavenly Father (admittedly I did most of the talking…at least that I actually heard.).

Photo via flickr.com 

Courtesy of ToastedWoobie, Some Rights Reserved

  I began asking questions such as,

What is expected of me?
                                               What am I suppose to be learning? 
                                                                                                       Where am I going in my life? 
                  What am I suppose to be doing? 
                                                                                What do I have to do to be successful?

Who Better To Ask

Those are pretty strong questions, and I have been searching for the answers to those questions for quite some time.  And who better to ask than my Father in Heaven?

As I was having this conversation I received an answer.  No, I didn’t see an angel, hear a sound, or receive a scroll.  I did however have a still, small voice speak to my mind and my heart (1 Kings 19:11-12).  I had a scripture from the Book of Mormon come to mind, as well as two words.  Here’s the scripture:

“O that I were an angel and could have the wish of mine heart…But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.” Alma 29:1,3

The two words were “Be Present”

The Answer

And there was the answer to all my questions.  I needed to, first, be content with where I was and what I have been given and blessed with in my life.  And second, I needed to be present.

What do I mean?

What do I mean by “Be present”? 

I mean that I needed to avoid being so discontent with my life, my job, my pay, etc that I couldn’t recognize and enjoy the vast blessings that are in front of me daily.  I couldn’t get obsessed with thoughts like

“If only I was older…”
                                               “If only I wasn’t so busy…”
                                                                                         “If only I had this or that job…”
                        "If only I made this much money…”

What I'm NOT Saying

Now at this point, let me be clear as to what I am NOT saying.  I am NOT saying that we shouldn’t plan and set goals.  And I am NOT saying that we shouldn't try to better ourselves and our position in life. 

However, by being too focused on our discontentment, we experience several unintended consequences.

Consequences

When we are focused on our discontent we can experience four consequences:

1.      We can miss out on valuable lessons that we could learn and that would greatly benefit our growth, progression, and success in our personal and professional lives.

2.      We will often overlook opportunities to serve and bless those around us…including our families and close friends because we are only worried about what we don’t have.

3.      If we are too preoccupied with where we are not at in life, discouragement and frustration will overtake our thoughts, causing stress, anger, depression and all sorts of not fun feelings!

4.      Focusing on our discontent can lead to envy and covetousness.  We will look at everyone more successful than us with disdain and jealousy.  This will not help us become more success, rather it will hinder our success.

How can we “Be Present” in our lives?

1.      Be grateful for what you have.  Count your “haves” not your “have nots”

2.      Remember that there is a season and a time to everything (Eccl. 3:1)

3.      Recognize that valuable lessons  can be learned and service given here and now

4.      Be patient

5.      Have faith, in God, in yourself, in your abilities.

There is a balance we must find a balance between pushing towards our future, and not missing our present. 

I know that Heavenly Father was telling me that I need to focus more on what I have rather than what I don’t have. 

He wants us to succeed, He wants us to be happy, but His thoughts and ways are certainly higher than mine (Isa. 55:8-9) and it is not my job to argue with His plans and His timetable. 

We must always be striving to grow, progress and succeed, but the path to the future goes straight through the present, so BE PRESENT!!!

Q: How can you make sure that you don’t overlook the present in your daily life?

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Twitter: @Skropp2

3 Benefits of Worrying...

“Nothing comes so naturally to a human being as anxiety and worry.”
― Brian Richardson
 

Photo courtesy of Alex E. Proimos, Some Rights Reserved



Ok, all those who have never worried about anything, raise your hand...
Yup, that's what I thought. We have all worried, are worried now, and, assuredly, will have opportunity to worry in the future.
Since we all worry, let's take a look at some of the benefits of worrying.

Here are 3 benefits for you to consider:

1. ?????


Ok, I'll be honest, I cannot think of ONE benefit of worrying, let alone 3!

The only thing you gain from worrying is an increase of things to worry about!!

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
― Corrie Ten Boom
 

Worrying wears you out. Worrying zaps you of your strength. Worrying chases away happiness. Worrying feeds your worst assumptions and starves your hope for the future.

“Worry divides the mind.”
― Max Lucado

Try thinking when you're worried. Try to plan your week when you're worried about that doctor's appointment next Thursday. Try writing a blog post while your spouse is two hours late getting home. You just can't. Worrying consumes your mind and makes it impossible to think of anything else.

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”
― Mark Twain

Our minds are amazing at projecting what the future may look like. The problem lies in the fact that all it has to work with is the information we feed it. If we feed it worried thoughts, our minds will go down that road of negative outcomes a thousand miles and show us the "scenery" along the way.  The downfall to this is, most of it will never happen. These are simply the worst case scenarios. Don't waste energy on that which probably won't happen.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles...
by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”
― Mark Twain

Be proactive about what goes into your mind. Don't form the habit (and break it if you have it) of feeding your mind only the bad information. Choose to think of the best possible scenarios.

“If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good.”
― Śāntideva

Worrying robs you of your God-given ability to choose. You surrender control of the situation to a made-up outcome that may or may not happen. By worrying you also greatly increase the likelihood that you'll experience a less desirable outcome than if you had chosen not to worry!

Please Don't Misunderstand

Don't mistake worry for concern. There are many situations where concern is warranted, totally acceptable, and expected. If a loved one is in the Emergency Room. If you get laid off. If your child is lost. These are situations where one would be expected to show great concern. 

Here's where I believe the line is:
Worrying: You are consumed with the "worst that could happen". You are focused on things that are beyond your control. You are paralyzed with fear and unable to think clearly.

Concern: You understand the gravity of the situation, but you're focused on doing those things that are within your control. You don't allow your thoughts to be overrun by your worst fears.


As you reduce the amount of time and energy you expend on worrying, I am confident to will experience more energy, a greater sense of control and increased joy and happiness.




Q: What do you do to keep from needlessly worrying in your life?

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Twitter: @Skropp2

When to Unfriend

Life: On Purpose

I've been thinking alot about living my life on purpose...especially since I began being more involved with self-improvement; listening to podcasts, following and commenting on blogs (Chris LoCurto's being foremost in my education).  I've come back again and again to the fact that I am where I am because I have let life happen to me, instead of living my life on purpose! 

So, as part of my effort to live life: on purpose.  I will periodically be providing posts about how I do just that. 

When to Unfriend

I had an experience today that was probably several months, perhaps years in the making.  I have a friend...kinda.  And I am not worried about sharing this experience, because he's the type of friend that will not read my blog anyway. 

I have a "friend" that I served around on my mission.  He's a nice enough guy, we had some stuff in common and so when we both got home we became "friends" on facebook. 

Over the years we have chatted a few times, and even met up for lunch a couple times.  But more and more his charming self has shown through...

What I mean by that is, no matter what I post on facebook, he contradicts it.  If I say something about my iPhone screwing up he comments "dont buy and iPhone". If I share a quote I really like he disagrees with it.  It got to the point that I dont even want to read the comments he leaves because I know they'll be sarcastic, condescending, and contrary. 

The Straw....

Today came the proverbial straw... I shared a quote I liked, his response: "false".  I decided that I'd had enough, and I Unfriended him. 

Why?

Now why would I do that?  Why would I unfriend someone over what could possibly be just funny comments made?  Why would I do the 21st century of avoiding someone in the store?

It's very simple, here's why.

I value myself.  I value my family.  I value my future. 

You are who you associate with.  Those that you spend the most time with will determine where you will end up. 

I have far too much to accomplish in my life to spend my time around "friends" that have nothing better to do than tear me down and argue with me. 

There are times when you are living your life: on purpose. that you will have to decide between your goals and dreams and so called friends. 

Here are 4 Reasons why you should Unfriend those that are not encouraging and uplifting you.

1.  Your Thoughts are Precious

Any time you are subjected to negative words, ideas, etc. they enter into your mind.  The more you can limit this type of influence in your life, the better off you will be.  You will have less doubts, less worries, and you'll be more positive.

2.  You Need Encouragement

All of us need to be encouraged.  Surrounding yourself with people who will encourage you in your projects, dreams, and goals is absolutely essential if you going to achieve anything.  There will be plenty of people that will tell you why something can't be done, or why you can't do it, dont allow more of these people access to your mind than absolutely necessary.

3.  Your Mood affects Productivity

If you have someone pulling you down, you're likely to get defensive, upset, depressed, worried, etc.  These types of moods will greatly reduce your ability to be productive.  What is it that Shakespeare said? Something along the lines of a man with a toothache cannot be in love?  In other words, if something is preoccupying your mind you can't concentrate on anything else.

4. They Aren't Your Friends

Someone who doesn't encourage you, doesn't uplift you, is not your friend, no matter what Facebook says... A friend encourages, a friend helps, a friend is excited for your dreams and wants you to succeed.  Why spend your time with those who do not do that?  You're wasting your time if you think that they'll provide you anything but frustration and the voice of  "you can't". 


 I'm not saying just cut people out of your life, but I am saying choose your friends on purpose. There are too many ways to connect with positive, supportive friends and colleagues in this day and age to spend time around negative people that want nothing more than to drag you down--and keep you down at their level.



Question: Do you have people like this "friend" of mine in your life? What do you do to minimize negative influences around you?



If you find value in these posts please tweet, share, email them to every single person you know, even that friend from third grade that you haven't talked to in at least a decade!

Twitter: @Skropp2

I See Success...

"Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile idea."

That is a quote by Earl Nightingale.  And by that definition, Today, I am successful.

It may seem like a small thing to many of you, but today I took the first actual steps towards the "...realization of a worthwhile idea" that I have had in my mind for probably almost a decade.

Soccer Camps

For nearly 10 years I have had the dream of starting a soccer camp.  A business that was mine, a business that combined several of my passions--soccer, coaching, business ownership, and financial success--into one place. 

Today I took the first real steps in making that dream a reality.  This morning my sister went with me to our local soccer complex.  There she took pictures for me to put on the new blog I just started.  I got some great ones, and I started my blog this afternoon.  You can check it out at www.afterpracticesoccer.blogspot.com. If you have any interest in soccer, haha. 





Dissatisfaction and Discouragement

"Dissatisfaction and discouragement are not caused by the absence of things but the absence of vision."  ~Anonymous

More than once in the past I have found myself dissatisfied with my life and discouraged with where I seemed to be going (or not going, as was more often the case...).  This has rarely had anything to do with where I was, I've had great jobs, with great pay and management.  It just was not my vision.  Like it says in Proverbs 29, "Where there is no vision, the people perish" (vs. 18).  I dont think it means that you just disappear, I think its like when fruit perishes, it just gets old, brown and dead looking.  Likewise, when we don't have vision, our lives get old, boring, stale and frustrating. 

When I have lost my vision, I get very discouraged and depressed with where I am in my life.  When I think of what I want to accomplish, who I want to be, and begin to make plans to that end, I find joy, excitement, and energy.  It has been amazing the excitement I've felt in these past couple weeks as I've been working on how to get closer to my goal of owning my own company focused on coaching soccer. 

When you have vision

"When you have vision it affects your attitude.  Your attitude is optimistic rather than pessimistic." ~Charles R. Swindoll

I don't expect you to understand.  I really don't.  How such a seemingly simple thing--a few digital photos and a stupid little blog with only one post could affect my attitude so profoundly.  I'm pretty sure most of my family and friends don't understand it--and thats ok.  It isn't their dream, it's mine.  I'm emotionally attached to it, its been nagging at me for years now!  While you see a little blog, I see a blog with thousands of visitors, I see an ebook that is downloaded hundreds or thousands of times, I see a summer soccer camp that people travel hundreds of miles to attend with world class training and elite coaches.  I see seminars and day camps dedicated to helping youth and adult, player and coach, to achieve whatever it is they want to accomplish--whether that's a professional soccer career or simply to coach their 10 year old daughter's rec team better. 

I See Success

I see success.  I see lives changed.  I see a life filled with joy and peace because I am still in the process of progressively realizing my worthwhile idea...that is even bigger and greater than today.  I see a man that my wife and my children can be proud of because I reached for my goal, I overcame my obstacles, I endured the hardships. 

I don't expect you to see that.  But I do.  And you know what, I may fail.  I may never reach what I hope to achieve.  But I will never give up reaching for it. 

"I'm going to be a great leader of this generation.  The stars in the space up there are my witnesses." ~Toba Beta

 That is why I am so excited for this stupid little blog.  So laugh if you want when, and if, you look at it.  But someday, somehow it will be something.  It will mean something.  It will achieve something.  Or I will go out with a blaze of glory and a content heart, knowing I did all that I could do.

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, but of choice.  Not something to wish for, but to obtain." ~William Jennings Bryan

Question: What are you doing to achieve your vision?





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Twitter: @Skropp2



Photo copyright: Linda Sieverkropp, All Rights Reserved.